Thursday, October 8, 2009
first when we think about this 'project', i am sure that this time round it will be my first ever project. although i know it might not be successful [ everything i did, none of it did success before] but i still wanted to try it out. i know that i will encounter problems along the way but i never ever thought that the problem occurs here. you seems like you do not like that project although you respect my idea. i know san lian respect me. she gave me her fullest support. but i dun see u giving me that kind of support, that kind of trust. i dun see that kind of support from everyone. everyone just slab a sword at my chest without letting me defence myself from that slab. all i hope for is that this ever project that i am trying to do, is succesful. why cant i just get success ?!?!
i know in front of my friends, i might be the person who is funny, who is irritating, matured. i might be the person who has no worries, no problems, always laughing. when i am in front of my cousin, i am always the opposite. i am always the one left out in the crowd. even if i am not in the gathering, no one notices. i am always hiding from the rest, stuck at one corner of the room, listening to my songs, in my own world. when i am in front of my grandparents, i treat them with respect, they ask, i do and will not treat them better or worst. i know sometimes i just really left them out, not because they are irritating. i just want to treat them like how i treat others. no point treating them the same way as others do. even if you treat them that well they might still even not remember you. then, why not just get out of their lives entirely??
i can say that no one of my cousins know me as well as Jerry do. i think Jerry is my only cousin that knows me super well. since other cousins do not want to know you very well, then, why not i get out of their lives as well ??
my mum once told me that i dun love her. but actually, all my love is kept within me. as long as i love them, they will then be loved even though they dono or cant feel it. i cant feel my mum's love towards me like how she cant feel my love towards her.
lives r just as such...
mood of the day: bad.
song of the day: kiss goodbye by Lee Hom.
11:00 PM